So……it’s been a while. Six months to be exact. My brain is struggling to compute how half a year could have flown by in what felt like a mere few weeks. I’ve been meaning to write, I promise, but to be honest found it hard to know where to even start again. The meals I’ve been cooking PB (post baby) have had the minimum requirement of “can I make this in less than 15 minutes” and any baking has been reverting back to old favourites that was familiar (and already on my blog). So nothing I felt worthy of sharing, but then I realised this is exactly why I started my blog…for my friends and my family and to share my experiences in the kitchen and the somewhat limited knowledge I had. So after some soul searching (I’ll tell you – nothing like bringing a baby into the world to bring some perspective back into focus) and deciding where I should be going with my blogging, I came to the conclusion that I should be sharing my meals and recipes I find that work. Along with all the crafty little things that seem to be taking over my Pinterest wall. My whole life has changed upside down, gone are the days where I had the luxury of spending hours in the kitchen experimenting and baking and cooking, now I do what I can when I can and sharing my ideas and experiences on this crazy ride they call parenthood seems to make some sense. At the moment anyway. So here is to new direction!
But I can’t have my first post in months without mentioning the reason for my slight hiatus. It is almost six months ago now that I was waiting for the first contractions to finally start, I was 10 days overdue and I can honestly say that those few overdue days felt longer than the whole nine months combined! But then 40 hours, some drugs and a few tears later our little monkey made his grand entrance into this world. A beautiful bundle of perfection, yet so tiny and vulnerable. On our first night in the hospital I kept on waking up and using the light from my mobile phone I would check that he was still breathing (what a mummy newbie!). And I remember asking the nurse if it was okay to pick him up to which she of course replied yes, “it’s your baby honey”. I just felt so incredibly inexperienced and unworthy of carrying full responsibility for such a helpless little human being totally dependent on me for literally everything. The few weeks following was an absolute blur (trying to remember back it still is), if the sun did not rise every day I legitimately would not have known whether it was night or day. Baby would feed, baby would poop, baby would sleep and so went the cycle repeating itself every few hours, as the days rolled into each other I didn’t even know what calendar month we were in let alone what day of the week it was. My amazing mum came to stay with us for a month, and without whom things would have been infinitely more difficult, and am for ever grateful for her hard work.
And then one day I suddenly realised “hey, I’m starting to get the hang of this” and then the smiling started, the big, gummy grins and long forgotten was the deprivation of sleep, the vain concerns about a body that has not quite bounced back yet, and a former life where I could pop out to the supermarket for a bottle of milk and some bread without planning the trip with military precision. We now lived in a world that was totally dominated by a little boy named Hadleigh. And that was totally okay.
We have been blessed beyond measure with the best baby ever, I know everybody says that about their baby, but it is the honest truth. He is such a happy little thing, content with anything, loves his cuddles, and just so easy to fall in love with. I read as much as I could before giving birth (trying not to get myself into a blind panic about what lay ahead), but one thing that absolutely no person or any books could prepare me for was the amount of love I felt for my baby. And every day my heart is growing a little bigger to the point where it feels like it is literally about to burst with love. Motherhood has been a roller coaster, an experience that is difficult to put into words, suffice to say that I have felt every emotion on the spectrum – you name it, I’ve felt it, and it’s only been six months! But it has been an experience that I would trade for nothing else on earth.
So without further ado, here is our little monkey..
..the absolute love of our lives. I have so much more I can say about him, but trying my best to practice some restrain, as I doubt this will be the last time I’ll be talking about him!
*Photo credit: Cola Curry Photography